In case you've missed my multiple stressed, tearful posts... I'm getting my MBA.
Just waiting for your applause. I know, I'm amazing.
Just kidding. What I am is exhausted. Always, always exhausted. I never knew evaluating the longevity of Costco's stock options would put me in a near-coma, but here we are.
Whenever I meet up with someone and brag about my academic achievements, the inevitable question arises... "So, what are you going to do with your degree?"
Apparently, "enjoy sleeping through the night again" isn't an acceptable answer. People want a full on career analysis.
Now, I've already gotten a new role and duties in my current job, so I feel quite set. But if any of my fellow December grads are having trouble fielding this question, allow me to help. I present: a bunch of nonsense jobs that are yours to lie about. None of these jobs are real. I made them all up over my lunch break. But if you genuinely don't know what your post-grad plans hold, or your answers just aren't enough for whoever happened to ask, here you are. Lie away!
It was halfway through my final paper for my management course that I realized one glaring sentence in particular looked suspicious out of context.
So I did what any grad student does when presented with red flags... bothered another student to see if they too were experiencing an odd sentence or two.
"I'm referencing 'Matilda' in my final paper," I immediately messaged to fellow classmate Emma. "It just felt right but anyone who just reads the first paragraph is gonna get real confused."
The more I thought about it, the more I realized that my past academic assignments are a treasure trove for out of context confusion. And since I'm not selfish (usually), I'd like to share my bizarre findings with you all, sans explanation. Have fun unpacking all this!
The average American woman lives to be about 82, if you believe what Wikipedia tells you. Although, sometimes I think my current candy corn consumption rate will shorten my lifespan significantly. (Don't tell me your opinions on mellow creme pumpkins or chocolate candy corn. I don't wanna hear any of it.)
What do I wanna do with however much time I've got left? Ideally, travel. The problem with that is my travel bucket list keeps getting longer, not shorter, the more places I visit. I bet I could take a year off of life to just travel, and I'd come back with even more places to visit.
I'm annoying, I know.
But something's gotta give, right? In the name of being practical, I've actually tried to narrow it down to my top 10 places on a seemingly endless list. It wasn't easy. If any of you saw my bucket list destinations notepad, you'd roll your eyes out of frustration. And I wouldn't even blame you.
So here it is. 10 places I'm actively aiming for at some point. Stay tuned for the inevitable edit where I'm all, "No wait: I also forgot (insert 20 destinations here)."
On Sunday, K-State’s personal Lord and Savior Coach Bill Snyder announced his retirement from football. This was especially devastating to me, because Coach and I are basically best friends. He wouldn’t say that, necessarily, but that’s exactly what he means.
So uh, why am I blogging hardcore about a movie that came out in 2001?
We're getting a third one. Someone wrote their dissertation on it. And I finally got my boyfriend to watch it with me. All equally as important as the other.
Also, I love this movie so much. I really do.
Fellow fans of "The Office" will have every right to mock me. That's fair. But it's totally a desert island movie pick.
"Legally Blonde" was empowering and cool before I knew what any of those words meant. I saw it as a young kid. It's inspiring. All kids should watch it. And all adults.
But, alas, no movie is perfect (with the exception of "Jonas Brothers; the 3D Concert Experience"). So let's quickly dissect where a good movie hit the wrong notes.
(P.S. If you've never seen this movie in your life, read the wiki plot and then join me Friday for a movie night and we'll right this wrong)
If the "zero-tolerance" immigration policy, cries of kids being separated or photos like this broke your heart... then congrats on being a human with a conscience.
More confusing, however, is how exactly you can stop this atrocity. This is where things get a little dicey.
So let me help.
Here's a list for my nation-wide folks.
Now, for my KC-based activists.
Do any of these headlines look familiar?
Of course they do, you godless industry murderers!
When us Millennials aren't eating avocado toast, drowning in student loans, or fantasizing about home ownership, we're cold-blooded killers. Forget everything you've heard about industries and social norms changing over time to adapt to consumer needs... we're straight up assassins.
Perhaps it's time we slow down our murderous rampage so we can reflect on our lack of affordable health insurance, or maybe, direct our hits to other behaviors or industries...
I'm 23, which many would argue is far too young to be looking back fondly on anything. By all standards, I'm barely an adult. A trial-adult, if you will.
So I'm gonna adopt the Homer Simpson model of perspective with this post, and tell you about the best four months of my life... so far.
I spent four months studying abroad in Prague, in case you somehow missed my zillion posts about it. I loved it so much. If I could hug the Czech Republic, I would.
There's a ton of stuff for me to unpack about my amazing experience, but I wanna get this somewhat obvious pointer out of the way first.
Not everyone can afford to study abroad. And it sucks.
The world is a cruel place, and if I had the means, I'd fund every single scholastic adventure. Unfortunately, experiences like these don't come cheap (but if you're curious, Eastern Europe and certain South American programs can be blessings to one's pocketbook. Give it a look if you haven't already. I originally planned for a semester in Italy, but Prague's low-cost barrier won me over, then the place itself won me over again.).
But if you can swing it, study abroad. Even if you don't think it's for you. Go all Nike/Shia LaBeouf and just do it.
After leaving K-State in mid-December, I found myself in the very common position of having +1 degree but negative job.
Technically, it was 0 job, but it really felt like negative.
There's something about your first job hunt postgrad that makes you feel like the lowest of the low. Well, it's not so much something as it is a combination of things; it seems like every single person in your graduating class has an amazing job waiting for them, the only gigs you can find in your field pay $0.02/hour, every practical thing you need is way too expensive and no one is responding to your emails. There's more, but if I listed everything I'd be here all day and I've got a lasagna in the oven.
It took me almost four months to find the job I have now. It might as well have been a lifetime. The days seemed endless and were filled with panicked LinkedIn searches, resume updates and "Judge Judy" binge watching.
In short, it sucked.
But it's over now, and the resulting emotions are akin to what I imagine finishing a marathon is like (assuming I'd ever have the strength/insanity to take that on). Sweet, sweet relief.
To my unemployed readers; you'll get there, I promise.
But in the meantime, let me attempt to talk down all of the evil thought demons that have no doubt filled your head during your unemployment. Stick with me, I'm gonna try to show you the light at the end of the tunnel.
about the author
Great hair, average personality.