On Sunday, K-State’s personal Lord and Savior Coach Bill Snyder announced his retirement from football. This was especially devastating to me, because Coach and I are basically best friends. He wouldn’t say that, necessarily, but that’s exactly what he means.
Just look at us! We are two peas in a pod.
What most people outside of the Little Apple don’t know is that Coach Snyder is responsible for much more beyond turning around our football program. And since he’s retiring, it seems only fair that he finally get his credit.
1. He famously invented the Pizza Shuttle “drop”
Coach knows that late night pizza from Pizza Shuttle is maybe the best thing to happen to your taste buds. But he also realized that students everywhere were suffering needlessly from excess grease. Thus, the drop was invented. He is a sports coach, after all.
2. He saved the cat from The Dusty Bookshelf when it caught fire.
Everyone’s first thoughts when we all learned that The Dusty Bookshelf had burned down: “IS THE CAT OK?!” If only we had known that Coach Snyder had immediately rushed to the scene when he first got a whiff of the flames and rescued the cat in seconds flat. The cat was rumored to be eternally grateful.
3. We didn’t actually name the highway after him. The road just respected him so much, it named itself.
4. Same with the stadium.
5. If you say “Bill Snyder” into a mirror three times during Finals Week, Coach appears and wishes you luck with your studies.
He had the engineering department put that into place. They did a pretty good job.
6. Coach Snyder aced Finance 450 and Organic Chemistry without ever taking either class.
*cries while retaking*
7. He really, really loves K-State.
Okay, that one is kind of obvious.
Tongue-in-cheek jokes aside, we’ll miss you, Coach.
about the author
Great hair, average personality.